TheLoneMarmot's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Honey do you love me]

Nightmare.

In my sleepless dreams I see that face.

[Super mario quest 3]

Just...awful.

I want those three minutes of my life back.

[Matrix vs Equilibrium]

An Alcohol Fuelled Review

Well, maybe it's the inebriation talking, but you're going to get the benefit of my first review on NG since I grew up and developed an opinion. Not that you should worry, it's mostly complementry.

While the graphics are fairly simplistic and the Flash is short and equally simple, I still liked it. The futility of whatever Bale's character was called versus Mr. Sucky Matrix actor man was actually pretty funny, in spite of the obviousness of comparsion.

Short, to the point, and for want of a better expression than saying it three times in one review, simple. A nice quicky on the Godlike powers of Neo. If that was his name in the films. By now I've done my best to phase Reloaded and Revolutions out of my memory, including all character names. Shame. The first Matrix was so good...

Anyway. I become pedantic about the point. Good show, et cetera.

[Star Wars ep2 Trailer]

What...

Why did you make that... what? What in the flying fuck was the point of that... what? I can't fucking hear you, oh wait, that's because you have been clubbed to death by everyone near you. Big clubs too. Not little ones. By the way if i can find the whole thing i'll tell you how bad that is as well...

[Zero Wing]

God no...

For what it was it was very good, but then, what it was was a stinky rotting pile of putrid dog vomit. This is bad, just plain bad... Truely pointless... I hope the author feels very ashamed about themselves... Regardless of what anyone else says that sucked...

[light ball]

So bad I'll try poetry...

That was truely bad it really sucked...
Several sheep the authour has fucked...

[Paperboy (NES)]

Dude...

What were you thinking? You think you can parody something and be instantly funny? You think you can make people think 'Gosh i remember that game, this must be funny,' cos you can't. My point? Fuck me that was shit... Enough said...

jg responds:

You're entitled to your opinion...
Although I'd like to see you try, I had an idea, thought it was funny (obviously some agree), so I made it, and think I did a pretty good job.. Oh well, there's always people who just talk shit for the hell of it.

The funniest thing about NG, besides the movies, is that the people who write all the negative, shit-talking reviews, oddly enough, usually never have any content of their own submitted. Maybe if some of you had ever opened the flash program, you'd better appreciate some people's work.

[Kong]

Here we go...

Now if anyone has ever seen any of me reviews they will know that i like to vote shit, which i do. It keeps the shit down and it makes my votes worth something. Now i am being forced to vote shit again... Although i have given it several Tens my overall vote has to be nil. Why i hear you think... Well... The lack of any talking, the lack of a plot... I mean the animation was good but it lacked soul... I hated it... Oh well... If you kick ass next time and do more of the Matrix style spinning shite when he draws the sword-knive things i might give you a ten. Fck this i'm off

[Big Mistake Part 3]

Wait a second...

Shit man I think i'm losing my hate... I actually laughed at this thing. Fuck... Oh well, i had better go and find something shit to vote on so i can vent some anger...

[horton hears a fuck you]

Ummm...

Dude that was shit. What the fuck was that, a scribble. A fucking scribble. Fuck me these get worse and worse...

Freeemelker responds:

FACK YOu... oogaly bajsterr... säj samfing bjitsh